For Dad

 This poem, I wrote a couple of months later, after my father's passing.

Years have gone by in a blink,
You had time to rethink.
The rowdy life you held dear
Became a passing that was clear

Your daughter grew and moved far away
Yet kept in contact we did stay
Many conversations ending tears
Speaking of ways we could have changed those missed years

All those memories of precious time
It will stay forevermore in my mind
You were diagnosed with cancer
Yet I never did receive my answer

Why life decided to crumble
I began to stumble
While everything started to jumble
And there it was that tunnel

Last day of spoken word
I barely heard
When everything became blurred
Words were slurred

All because of shit cell service
My emotion became nervous
That last day I told you I was expecting
With a sigh and a laugh not neglecting

You proclaimed I'm too old for this
Yet you were in complete bliss
The last day we spoke
Was with a choke

Declaring I love you
Only a week later did I turn blue
You passed away
Nothing was okay

Down to the pit of despair
This tragedy I could not bear
Or even breathe the air
I wanted a moment to continue to share
Yet all there would be was a blank stare

More loss to be had
Mind went mad
Deeper into the pit
There I did sit

Mourning two lost souls
A father and an unborn child paid tolls
Life was chaotic
I swear I went psychotic

Nevermore to hear your voice
Nevermore to rejoice
Not capable of making a choice
Forever in the epitome of darkening hell
Once a living being now just an empty shell

Months go by
People lie
People spy
I continued to cry

sitting here
it became clear
I forever will be a daddy's girl
Even if everything continued to rapidly swirl

The strength I have comes from you
Looking back with a front-row view
You taught me to speak for what is right
Even when nothing seemed bright
You never wanted me to hold my tongue
Even when I was young

Forever I will keep your lessons to heart
Even if we should forever be apart.

© M. Robbins
R.I.P Departed Jan 1, 2015